Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Cooking for a Stormtrooper

Being a Stormtrooper is serious business.  That means a serious appetite. 
I figure with all of the repairs and high turnover rates that the Empire has, 
a chef would need to make something that would fit a budget as well as 
keep these guys full and energetic.

  Ramen.... I hate the shit. It is pure evil and I felt that it would be a proper 
base food for anyone that follows the Dark Side. However, most people 
never even "try" to embellish Ramen. They just take it as it is in most cases.
 I'm going to show you how I spice up my Ramen and make it consumable 
for me. At the very least, it will help to relieve some guilt if anything for 
eating this shit.

So let's get to this...

First thing you will need is well - Ramen? So I got tons of this stuff in my 
cabinet. Usually, I open these things up just for the seasoning packets and 
use them in rice or something. 

And Veggies...This will depend on you. I use...


Green Pepper!

and Onion!

 And meat! I prefer chicken over Bantha.

Now - I don't know about you people... But I save my bacon greese/drippings
in a container. Some people use oil, some use butter. I use bacon grease because
I'm on a fast track to dying of a heart attack. Sometimes I get hardcore and use 
butter AND bacon drippings. If you save your bacon grease keep it in the fridge.
It will last for months! Stormtroopers love anything that is bacon related btw.

We are going to start off with using some bread. I like to bread my chicken. 
So... I'm using a German Brotchen. I cut it in half and lightly butter it. Place 
it butter side down on a baking tray and bake the bread until it is dry. We are 
going to put this dried bread into a ziplock bag and crush it up into buttery 
bread crumbs.

Next we will slice our chicken breast!

Next chop up them veggies.

You are also going to want to add some spices or other seasonings to 
cover up that Ramen taste of death. I use garlic shavings, salt, pepper,
and some chilli powder. Stormtroopers approve of this. The packet that 
comes with the Ramen is used for the noodles later. This is to season
your veggies or meat that you are prepping.

So, remember that bacon grease I had? I cook my chicken in that bacon grease.
I also add a little bit of garlic and black pepper and let that meat fry itself up all
toasty and golden-like. The Stormtrooper likes to watch meat cooking. It's
kind of creepy if you ask me.

 Next we do the veggies. Let your meat sit in a bowl and rest for about ten
minutes while you are cooking down your veggies. When they are done just
dump it all in a bowl and set it to the side to rest.  Don't forget about your bread 
drying out in the oven! If it's crusty and dry take it out of the oven.

Next, I dice up my chicken and dump it in a large Ziplock bag with the 
crushed bread crumbs. Shake that shit up! The bacon grease on the chicken
gets the crumbs to stick to it. Look at him.... He's a jerk.

After this process, I put some butter in the pan and fry the chicken until the
 bread is all golden. Then add the veggies back in with it to warm everything
up again.

 Next... Boil your Ramen for 10 mins. in a microwave. Then strain it and
add that packet of mystery powder that comes with Ramen. I also add
a tablespoon of butter and some chilli powder for some heat. Mix
it up!

Finally, just put your meat and veggie stuff on those noodles and you
will have enough energy to fight of Jedi's and shit. Just because people
sell us some crap doesn't mean we have to just eat it. The irony is that
Ramen noodles are far better when you customize them to not taste
like generic crap.

 Look at him... he loves this shit!



May the Force be with you.